can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
