Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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