When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
