Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
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