I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
that may or may not have been my penis.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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