I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
