he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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