There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
