have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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