The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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