i may or may not be watching the land before time
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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