Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
