I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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