brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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