thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
