girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
