I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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