I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
