We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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