I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
