Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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