Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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