This girl is more easily done than said...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
