My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
