Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
