glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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