You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
