Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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