weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
