So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
