My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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