Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
