her vagine was all disorganized.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
