just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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