hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
