i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
