The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
