Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
