And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
