Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
