Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
