My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize