vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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