When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
ok first of all what the fuck
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
