I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
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