There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
