her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
