I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
