So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
