you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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