All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
