Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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