Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
