I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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