Christians are straight up FREAKS
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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