he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
