If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Need sex. Gaining weight.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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