: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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