he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
