YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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