Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
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