So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
