If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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