sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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