Where is the hickey?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize